Tag: joke
member name: Judith S.
|
December 03, 2006 07:35 PM EST --
In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's . . .
more
|
|
December 04, 2006 11:27 AM EST --
Government Office Rules
1) If it rings, put it on hold.
2) If it clanks, call the repairman.
3) If it whistles, ignore it.
4) If it's a friend, take a break.
5) If it's the boss, look busy.
6) . . .
more
|
|
December 06, 2006 07:55 PM EST --
1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3) A . . .
more
|
|
December 08, 2006 06:49 PM EST --
Two very elderly friends, Bill and Sam, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Bill didn't show . . .
more
|
|
December 08, 2006 06:59 PM EST --
HER DIARY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to
meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day
long, so I thought he was upset at the fact . . .
more
|
|
January 19, 2007 11:26 AM EST --
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a North Carolina Deputy SHERIFF.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has . . .
more
|
|
February 28, 2007 10:35 AM EST --
SENIOR BREAKFAST
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good, but I don't . . .
more
|
|
November 28, 2006 09:39 PM EST --
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. . . .
more
|
|
December 04, 2006 11:46 AM EST --
READ CAREFULLY!!
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.On your left side is a 'drop off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right . . .
more
|
|
December 08, 2006 06:36 PM EST --
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant,
"you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a
strange man."
"That's correct," says . . .
more
|
|
December 13, 2006 10:43 AM EST --
Without any paperwork, Grandpa started getting a $500 check every month.
So Grandpa and Grandma started cashing them. It turns out an insurance company made a mistake with the address.
The checks . . .
more
|
|
December 13, 2006 10:45 AM EST --
PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDLY POLITICIANS AND LET THEM KNOW WE THE PEOPLE KNOW WHATS GOING ON..
Here's how it works in Louisiana :
The steps at the Louisiana State Capitol need some repairs, . . .
more
|
|
December 18, 2006 09:20 AM EST --
Wyoming State Police - Gotta Love 'Em!!
In most of the northern states, there is a policy of checking on any
stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop down to the
single digits or . . .
more
|
|
January 27, 2007 12:22 PM EST --
I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,
"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a
sofa bed and watched a 10 . . .
more
|
|
January 27, 2007 02:06 PM EST --
"In California," said Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger,
"when you pull someone over, you have to have
an ID with two pictures...
before plastic surgery and after."
*************************** . . .
more
|
|
January 27, 2007 02:09 PM EST --
I came out of a convenience store the other day and some
seedy looking guy walks up to me and holds up a little
sign: "DEAF & DUMB... Can you spare $10?" . . .
more
|
|
January 27, 2007 02:10 PM EST --
The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas
of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.
"Never let your husband see you in the nude," she
advised. "You should always . . .
more
|
|
March 19, 2007 09:31 PM EDT --
I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I
noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,
orange, and blue. . . .
more
|
|
April 20, 2007 09:47 AM EDT --
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," She replied. "Two years older than me." . . .
more
|
|
December 13, 2006 10:51 AM EST --
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter . . .
more
|
|
|
|
